2014. The year that WASN’T on The Kosbie Show. Have you ever been so busy living your life that you ignored your blog for more than year? And during that time, your comedy idol who you named both your dog and blog after was revealed to be a skeezy sexual predator? Haven’t we all done that?!
But never fear, Kosbie fans! I’m back. If you’re reading this blog, you probably know me IRL, but just in case you are one of my anonymous super fans in New Zealand, here’s a quick update to get you up to speed: Owning a house with a yard has always been one of my husband Sam’s dreams, and once he assured me that he would be doing most of the yard work, it became one of mine, too. We worked really hard to make it happen, and on the last day of 2014, we became home owners! I like to say that we live in Sam-burbia now, and we’ve been having so many adventures that I felt the need to start blogging again so I could capture all of the unexpected moments of joy, frustration, and pure ridiculousness that come along with owning a home. (This blog could also prove to be a vital piece of evidence for the insurance company and fire/police departments if I end up losing my mind and burning the house to the ground.)
Let’s begin, shall we? One of our favorite things about our place is the yard. We’ve wanted to have a yard for the dog forever, and the first time we walked into the backyard, we totally fell in love. I mean, look at it! :
You’ll notice in the background of the photo there’s an awesome, super sweet hammock. Man – when we looked at that hammock, we could SEE ourselves living in this house! We’d read books in it, sip lemonade while lounging, and generally just live The Life in that hammock.
Fast forward to February – we’ve purchased the house (and they left the hammock!), it’s a sunny Saturday morning, and we have an appointment at H&R Block to do our taxes. Because Math/income increases/down payments/witchcraft, we ended up OWING money this year. I won’t get into specifics, but it was not a small amount. We drove home, both feeling sad and grumpy. We just put a lot of our money into buying the house and now we owed the government MORE!? Is this American Dream thing really just a scam?! (Spoiler Alert: Maybe Yes.)
When we got home, we both tried to relax separately- I watched a thousand cat videos and Sam went outside and sat in the hammock. I saw him from the office, and snapped a picture of him reclining:
In that moment, I was moved by how lucky we are and how great our life is even though it can be stressful. I jumped up and ran outside to join Sam and Kosbie in our yard. I told him that we were going to be ok, and then I said I wanted to get in the hammock with him. He voiced some concern about the hammock being able to support the two of us, but I told him it was fine and joined him. I think we had 27 seconds of time together in the hammock before suddenly the branch of the tree that was holding us up broke and we fell to the ground. I started laughing immediately, but Sam just sat, slumped in a weary silence. After a minute of me cackling, he sighed, got up, and started picking up the pieces of the broken hammock and tree.
Sam was able to have a good laugh about the hammock later that night, and I don’t think either of us will forget the day that my ass crushed our already fragile dreams. (In my defense – the previous owner had cut the branch of the tree that was attached to the hammock, so it was dead and brittle and really just waiting to break.)
Join me next time when husband and I have our next adventure in Sam-burbia: PLUMBING (how hard could this be?)