I lit the Black Flame Candle

Those of you who know me know that I LOVE  Halloween. There are so many wonderful things about this holiday/time of year! Just in case any of you need convincing, here’s a brief, non-comprehensive list:

Awesome Things About October/Halloween

  • It’s brisk and autumn-y outside! Time for scarves and boots!
  • There is candy everywhere!!
  • You can dress up as anything you want!
  • CANDY!
  • Scary movies!
  • CANDY CANDY CANDYALLDAYEVERYDAYCHICKENNUGGETINMYPOCKET!

Now, sugar addiction aside, I come by my love of obsession with Halloween honestly. My whole family loves Halloween, and it was always a big deal in our house. Around September 15th, my parents would sit my sisters and I down and solemnly inform us that they expected our Halloween costumes to be creative and original this year – no procrastinating allowed! Also, store-bought costumes were frowned upon. I railed against this until my parents relented one year in the 90s and let me buy a Lisa Simpson costume. I thought I was hot shit until I was trick-or-treating and  came across a woman in a Marge Simpson costume who saw me, yelled “My daughter!”, and chased me down to give me a hug. I was a shy 6-year-old and this stranger danger encounter scarred me for life. I never bought a store costume again.

Perhaps my best era of Halloween costumes occurred during that wonderful time of life we all look back on so fondly…Middle School. Some back story: I was not a typical “tween.” I was amazingly awkward, but blissfully unaware of that fact. I wasn’t embarrassed by my parents, I didn’t want to grow up, and I did not buy into the whole sexy costume thing. Couple that with the fact that I trusted my parents completely, and you’ve got 3 years of stellar Halloween costumes. What’s especially awesome about these costumes is that they were worn at the annual Halloween Dance…in front of all my peers.

6th Grade: Gypsy

I played it safe for my first Halloween Dance and probably looked pretty cute, but I didn’t win the costume contest.

7th Grade: Uncle Fester

Determined to take my costume to the next level and win the contest, I decided to go with something that involved makeup and a skull-cap. I painted myself white, stuffed a pillow under a fugly jacket, and went off to the dance as Uncle Fester. My friend Kat won the costume contest that year. She went as Mr. Clean (with a skull-cap!). I was happy for her, but I also felt insanely jealous/stupid for not thinking of using cotton balls as eyebrows the way she did.

8th Grade: Virus
This was my last chance! It was not lost on me that this would be my last middle school Halloween Dance, and I decided to bust out the big guns: I went to my parents for ideas and help. My mom came up with the idea that I should go as a virus. When I asked her what that entailed, she explained, “It’s easy! You wear all black, paint your face black, get a pair of black pantyhose, fill them with balloons, and put it on your head.” DUH!! Looking back on this, I wonder if my mom was just trying to see how ridiculous I was willing to look in public. I also wonder what kind of information she received in school about viruses. Anyway, being the trusting 13 year-old I was, I went with it. We made a sign that said “VIRUS” just in case anyone was stupid enough not to realize what I was. I looked something like this:

Needless to say, I did NOT win the costume contest that year, but I did have a great time dancing with pantyhose on top of my head. Also, I did not go on my first date until I was 15.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN,
KOSBIE FANS!!

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13 thoughts on “I lit the Black Flame Candle

  1. Um, I LOVE your mom’s response to your question of how to dress like a “virus.” Also, can you believe Scott has never seen Hocus Pocus? I’ve literally scheduled it into our calendar.

  2. Warning: don’t read this post in class or any other setting where silence is expected and sudden bursts of laugher are frowned upon
    Loved it G!

  3. legit just shat my pants. loling like lindsay LOLhan
    two things:
    1. you forgot to mention that mom insured that none of out costumes would be “sexy” and or even cute due mainly to her golden rule of halloween outfits: THOU MUST WEAR A TURTLENECK UNDER EVERY THING
    2. so true about never being allowed to get a storebought costume- the one year mom was to tired to help me make one and let me get something from iParty my brain couldn’t handle it and i was so overwhelmed my the choices i bought one with the description: “white ghost”. shit

    ps remember the dog costume we all wore. by the last time i wore it was threadbare and bustin’ at the seems

    candycorncan’t wait to see you m
    anana (ok that attempt was a stretch)

  4. First date at 15 seems like an early bloomer to me! But I have pretty low standards.

    I except a blog post/pictures of your costumes this year.

  5. Pingback: Halloween Post – Update! | The Kosbie Show

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