Backpack Attack!

Hey strangers! I’m back from adventures of blogging for theatre! I’m sorry to have neglected you for so long, but let’s put the past behind us and get back to this blog and what it’s all about: me reporting the stupid things I do. Gather ’round for a story, children!

The Giant Backpacks

Once upon a time, there was a young woman named Glynnis. She loved to play and eat and run. She thought life was fantastico and couldn’t get any better:

But THEN! She met a young man who made life even more exciting and fun than she thought it could be. Not being one to let a good thing go, she fought all the other women for the honor of having this young man as her gentleman friend. SHE WON!

Fast forward 4 years: the two young people have just moved into an apartment and they need a new couch for Kosbie to sleep on while they’re both at work (that’s right, dog, we’re on to you). While Glynnis has fallen in love with a couch from Crate and Barrel, they both agree it’s a good idea to explore their other, more economical options…even though they should really get this one:

The two found themselves wandering the aisles of Value City Furniture when they stumbled upon the children’s department. What happened next can only be described as destiny, awesome or stupid (it’s up to you, but seriously those are your only three choices). They found…


Ok, I have to drop the narrative voice I am using because I’m too excited to tell the rest of this story. Here we go, in regular, old, first person, past tense: My first instinct was to make Gentleman Friend wear the backpack. Because he was as excited about our find as I was, he readily agreed and struck a “Where is the school bus?” pose. Naturally.

Then I had to try the backpack on for myself, because it’s A GIANT BACKPACK, people! Come on! Of course I flashed my most winning smile:

Next, I decided to walk around and act as if my backpack were not humongous – because people acting like ridiculous things are not ridiculous is hilarious. (In case you’re dying to know, at the end I say “Well, there isn’t anything here.” But you can’t tell because I’m mumbling and trying not to laugh.)

Our final idea was the best. We wondered if I could fit in this giant backpack. The answer? Yes, yes I can. That’s how awesome the giant backpacks are. Unfortunately, the salesman on the floor saw me doing this and was not pleased. He ruined our final picture by storming up to Gentleman Friend and me and asking us to “Please stop” or whatever:



24 thoughts on “Backpack Attack!

    1. The obsession is mutual,friend. I’ve been MIA on the interwebs for a while, but I am renewing my online commitment – there’s even a schedule involved – fancy pants!

  1. I am reminded suddenly of the infamous Duffel Bag incident from Freshman year… I’m just so glad you weren’t arrested. šŸ˜€

  2. Please tell me you took the plunge and purchased that backpack. Pleeeeease!

    As though the story at the beginning wasn’t good enough, you killed me with those photos. I can’t stop laughing.

  3. You just made me laugh so hard, and then I got really sad that I live far away from you. I’m trying to find a reasonable middle ground, but on the whole: good blog, xoxo.

  4. OH Glynnis….love this. I never thought I’d see a backpack larger than the one that used to house my awesome high school grammar books but these are great. I love the video clip….laughed so hard.

  5. When I was little I was always mesmerized by those giant toothbrushes they have on display when the dentist comes to your school and tries to tell you that he’s your friend and not some drill-happy torture maniac with problems stemming back to his childhood and that you should let your guard down and visit him and maybe there will be other wonderfully large items like perhaps a giant wallet, paper clip, or snow cone. Couldn’t he at least have had a giant backpack? I mean, if they make ’em…

    1. Oh, God! The dentist is one of my biggest fears, Jordie! You’re right, there really should be other over-sized items there…as long as it isn’t the drills.

  6. UH-MAZING…I miss you guys, and I wish I could own a giant backpack to put you in so I could actually carry you around with me at all times :0)

  7. Hi Glynnis!
    I just purchased this backpack at a yard sale. Can you remember, per chance, how much they were retail?
    I LOVE your story. Too cute and the pics are great. =)

    1. Hi Nancy!

      I’m glad you enjoyed the story! Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to comment. Honestly, I don’t remember how much it cost (it was a few years ago now), but I DO remember thinking it was waaaay too much ($60? $70?). If it had been lower than that, I definitely would have ended up buying it! Sorry I couldn’t be more specific. I am so jealous of you and your giant back pack – I hope you have so many over sized adventures together!

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