Backpack Attack!

Hey strangers! I’m back from adventures of blogging for theatre! I’m sorry to have neglected you for so long, but let’s put the past behind us and get back to this blog and what it’s all about: me reporting the stupid things I do. Gather ’round for a story, children!

The Giant Backpacks

Once upon a time, there was a young woman named Glynnis. She loved to play and eat and run. She thought life was fantastico and couldn’t get any better:

But THEN! She met a young man who made life even more exciting and fun than she thought it could be. Not being one to let a good thing go, she fought all the other women for the honor of having this young man as her gentleman friend. SHE WON!

Fast forward 4 years: the two young people have just moved into an apartment and they need a new couch for Kosbie to sleep on while they’re both at work (that’s right, dog, we’re on to you). While Glynnis has fallen in love with a couch from Crate and Barrel, they both agree it’s a good idea to explore their other, more economical options…even though they should really get this one:

The two found themselves wandering the aisles of Value City Furniture when they stumbled upon the children’s department. What happened next can only be described as destiny, awesome or stupid (it’s up to you, but seriously those are your only three choices). They found…


Ok, I have to drop the narrative voice I am using because I’m too excited to tell the rest of this story. Here we go, in regular, old, first person, past tense: My first instinct was to make Gentleman Friend wear the backpack. Because he was as excited about our find as I was, he readily agreed and struck a “Where is the school bus?” pose. Naturally.

Then I had to try the backpack on for myself, because it’s A GIANT BACKPACK, people! Come on! Of course I flashed my most winning smile:

Next, I decided to walk around and act as if my backpack were not humongous – because people acting like ridiculous things are not ridiculous is hilarious. (In case you’re dying to know, at the end I say “Well, there isn’t anything here.” But you can’t tell because I’m mumbling and trying not to laugh.)

Our final idea was the best. We wondered if I could fit in this giant backpack. The answer? Yes, yes I can. That’s how awesome the giant backpacks are. Unfortunately, the salesman on the floor saw me doing this and was not pleased. He ruined our final picture by storming up to Gentleman Friend and me and asking us to “Please stop” or whatever: