Worst Case Scenario

Every year, my gentleman friend and his brothers participate in the Kick It 3 V 3 Soccer Tournament (which, I just learned by looking at the website, is “The road to WALT DISNEY WORLD Resort…” Funny… I would have guessed I-95).  So, I love my gentleman friend and his brothers very much and would really like to play with them in the tournament but  maybe I ran track and cross-country for years because I have zero coordination and have never mastered any activity involving teams and a ball.  But don’t feel badly! I get to contribute every year in a special, important way: I make the jerseys! The guys always pick a really great team name and I have a lot of fun doing it. This year they were “Worst Case Scenario,” a team inspired by Nicolas Cage, his films and talent. 
At first I tried to draw a caricature of Mr. Cage, but how do you capture the soul of an angel? Answer: you can’t. Especially if you’ve saved doing this project for 2 hours before you are supposed to leave. So! I stuck to my strengths and drew crappy stick figures in worst case scenarios. So here they are! The 2010 line! Please forgive any poor photo quality and remember that I was working with sharpies in a closed space while creating these:

Worst Case Scenario: You're helluh stabbed.
Worst Case Scenario: Your head is on fuego.

Worst Case Scenario: You're Oedipus.

Worse Case Scenario: Shark bite.
Worst Case Scenario: You're Bizarro You.
Worst Case Scenario: Smallpox.

But seriously – smallpox is terrifying. It goes without saying that Worst Case Scenario performed brilliantly in the tournament (they beat the defending world champions!). If you’d like to see some more worst scenarios or have suggestions of your own, leave a comment! Peace out

Sweet Soccer Photo: Nationaal Archief / Spaarnestad Photo


12 thoughts on “Worst Case Scenario

  1. killer bees.
    zombie apocalypse.
    explosive decompression.
    swallowed by a whale.
    being shat upon by a sloth.

  2. VELOCIRAPTORS…or combining with another W.C.S. ZOMBIE velociraptors…that’s by far the worst case scenario EVER

  3. I swear to God, the Oedipus joke killed me. I agree with whoever said velociraptors, and would also agree that Fast Zombies, Flu Pandemic, or Cancellation of Christmas would also qualify as W.C.S. Also, Sandwich Lady Fail.

  4. @ Mal Pal: You’re a killuh. Come visit.

    @ Marian: That’s what (s)he said!

    @ Sarah: I love the suggestions! Except for the one you know is completely unacceptable. I thought we were friends.

    @ Susie: Combining two WCSs? Terrifying. And awesome.

    @ J. Reese: No te metas con las chupacabras.

    @ Annamar: I can’t get enough of your face.

    @ KOD: I am cooking my egg. I can’t make you grits! It’s CRITICAL!

    @ Rachel: Your suggestions make my soul feel cold. And seriously – not getting Pregnant Sandwich Lady can make a nice Thursday afternoon feel like a MONDAY!

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