Every year, my gentleman friend and his brothers participate in the Kick It 3 V 3 Soccer Tournament (which, I just learned by looking at the website, is “The road to WALT DISNEY WORLD Resort…” Funny… I would have guessed I-95). So, I love my gentleman friend and his brothers very much and would really like to play with them in the tournament but maybe I ran track and cross-country for years because I have zero coordination and have never mastered any activity involving teams and a ball. But don’t feel badly! I get to contribute every year in a special, important way: I make the jerseys! The guys always pick a really great team name and I have a lot of fun doing it. This year they were “Worst Case Scenario,” a team inspired by Nicolas Cage, his films and talent.
At first I tried to draw a caricature of Mr. Cage, but how do you capture the soul of an angel? Answer: you can’t. Especially if you’ve saved doing this project for 2 hours before you are supposed to leave. So! I stuck to my strengths and drew crappy stick figures in worst case scenarios. So here they are! The 2010 line! Please forgive any poor photo quality and remember that I was working with sharpies in a closed space while creating these:
Worst Case Scenario: You're helluh stabbed.
Worst Case Scenario: Your head is on fuego.
Worst Case Scenario: You're Oedipus.
Worse Case Scenario: Shark bite.
Worst Case Scenario: You're Bizarro You.
Worst Case Scenario: Smallpox.
But seriously – smallpox is terrifying. It goes without saying that Worst Case Scenario performed brilliantly in the tournament (they beat the defending world champions!). If you’d like to see some more worst scenarios or have suggestions of your own, leave a comment! Peace out!
Sweet Soccer Photo: Nationaal Archief / Spaarnestad Photo