Glue Eater

Like any of you couldn’t have guessed that I was a glue eater. My passion for paste peaked around 1st grade. I pretty much stuck to* Elmer’s, non-toxic, white, craft glue although there was a brief period where I experimented with those purple glue sticks, but come on, half the thrill is in the temperature and consistency, right? Freak.

Anyway, the thing that broke me of this habit was the thing that puts an end to most “socially unacceptable” behavior: SHAME. Being called out in class in front of everyone for eating glue is pretty humiliating. And it goes beyond the fact that you’re caught… maybe you’re a messy eater, maybe it’s impossible to wipe glue off of your face quickly, maybe when you do try to wipe the glue off your face before everyone sees, you just spread it around some more and get glitter stuck on your face while you’re at it.

* Badoom chhh! Sorry guys, couldn’t help it.

Thanks for reading!

11 thoughts on “Glue Eater

  1. I guess this is a safe enough space for me to confess my own glue adventures:

    I was a sophomore in high school (no joke), and one day my friends and I were so bored in class that we found some Elmer’s glue (that’s how serious my high school was: we always had craft supplies), spread a thin layer on our hands, waited for the glue to dry, and competed to see who could peel off the biggest sheet of glue. I almost peeled an entire palm’s worth of glue off my hands. Because I’m a champ like that. Luckily my brand-new college degree counteracts that story nicely.

    By the way, I’ve been meaning to compliment you on the beauty of your blog. It’s easy to read and cute as hell. I like it.

    1. I would totally want to hang out with High School Jessica (and it goes without saying I’d wanna hang with Jessica of today). Thanks so much for the feedback!

      1. I’m delighted that your glue post has gotten so many responses. Obviously you’ve tapped into something primal/essential in all of us– our relationship with glue.

  2. This might be my favorite Young Glynnis story yet. The line, “Like any of you couldn’t have guessed that I was a glue eater” incapacitated me for laughing. I never ate glue, but I did get banned from using scissors for all of first grade for cutting off one of my eyebrows. I looked like Vanilla Ice for a while: The worst part was that my mom told my art teacher, Ms. Mamajack, and I had to have my art-partner Kelly do all my cutting for the year. So embarrassing.

    1. I love this comment so much! Poor Kelly! I would pay good money to see a photo of you from this time in your life. How have I not heard this story before!?

  3. Love the furious dog drawing! In first grade we weren’t allowed to draw – too messy – so you can imagine the Scandal when Susan Fratini was caught eating glue (yes, I still remember her name with pride & a little jealously)

    1. I love that you remember Susan! It makes me glad to know that maybe someone, somewhere has said “Man, there was this girl named Glynnis in my first grade class – she was always eating glue.”

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