As soon as I learned what a nickname was, I wanted one. I tried in vain for years to make it happen. I begged friends to call me Yoo-Hoo (I was obsessed with Strawberry Yoo-Hoo for some reason – oh wait, because it’s AWESOME), Bubbles (just like Jodie Foster in Freaky Friday) and Starlight (he flies right before your eyes!). To my chagrin, none of these stuck. Then I found out the hard truth about nick names: very often, you have no say in what yours is. This became clear to me on the playground when a bossy, yellow-haired girl pushed me to the ground and shouted “Get out of my way, GRIMACE!” (For those of you who don’t know, my name is Glynnis – sounds like Guinness.)
Needless to say, this one stuck. Ok, it only stuck for a few weeks, but when you’re 6, that’s a significant percentage of your life. I was shocked and offended to be compared to Grimace. First of all, WHAT IS HE? One of Ronald McDonald’s henchmen? If so, he doesn’t seem to bring much to the table. Unlike the Hamburgler or even Birdy (who can fly, sorta), he doesn’t appear to possess any special talents or skills aside from having no elbows or genitals and being purple. I have a theory that Grimace is what happens to people if they eat McDonalds every day of their life.
I was talking to my gentleman friend about this nickname and he steered me towards the wikipedia and I found that Grimace was first introduced in 1972 as “Evil Grimace.” EVIL, you say?! Why?! BECAUSE, people! He used to have four arms that would help him steal milkshakes and sodas! Bad. Ass. Maybe I should have tried to hang on to that nickname…I bet I could have if I had four evil hands.
Anyway, dear readers, I want to hear from you! What are some nicknames you’ve acquired over the years? Let’s hear the good, the bad and the awesome ones. Not going to lie, though – if they’re really good I might try to take them for myself.
EVIL Grimace style.