Call me Bubbles!

As soon as I learned what a nickname was, I wanted one. I tried in vain for years to make it happen. I begged friends to call me Yoo-Hoo (I was obsessed with Strawberry Yoo-Hoo for some reason – oh wait, because it’s AWESOME), Bubbles (just like Jodie Foster in Freaky Friday) and Starlight (he flies right before your eyes!). To my chagrin, none of these stuck. Then I found out the hard truth about nick names: very often, you have no say in what yours is. This became clear to me on the playground when a bossy, yellow-haired girl pushed me to the ground and shouted “Get out of my way, GRIMACE!” (For those of you who don’t know, my name is Glynnis – ┬ásounds like Guinness.)

Needless to say, this one stuck. Ok, it only stuck for a few weeks, but when you’re 6, that’s a significant percentage of your life. I was shocked and offended to be compared to Grimace. First of all, WHAT IS HE? One of Ronald McDonald’s henchmen? If so, he doesn’t seem to bring much to the table. Unlike the Hamburgler or even Birdy (who can fly, sorta), he doesn’t appear to possess any special talents or skills aside from having no elbows or genitals and being purple. I have a theory that Grimace is what happens to people if they eat McDonalds every day of their life.

I was talking to my gentleman friend about this nickname and he steered me towards the wikipedia and I found that Grimace was first introduced in 1972 as “Evil Grimace.” EVIL, you say?! Why?! BECAUSE, people! He used to have four arms that would help him steal milkshakes and sodas! Bad. Ass. Maybe I should have tried to hang on to that nickname…I bet I could have if I had four evil hands.

Anyway, dear readers, I want to hear from you! What are some nicknames you’ve acquired over the years? Let’s hear the good, the bad and the awesome ones. Not going to lie, though – if they’re really good I might try to take them for myself.

EVIL Grimace style.

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22 thoughts on “Call me Bubbles!

  1. Mine from my family has always been Tweety because I had a big, round head from birth. Yup.

    One of my stepdad’s friends calls me Nickel. Eww.

    Other than that, I hate when people continue to shorten my name. Nikki is good enough, I don’t need to be called Nick or Ni. Ok, I made up the Ni.

  2. Um how have we never discussed this? Besides possessing a series of 1977 Grimace glasses, “grimace” is the term Steven uses, in its most limited sense, to describe people who are wearing transition lenses, and in a wider sense, people who are messy in a not-cute way (at the time we used this, our celebrity example to illustrate this concept was publicist Lizzie Grubman, that crazy orange bitch who ran over people with her car in the Hamptons, which is no longer a topical reference). Maybe Kate Gosselin?

    Also, fuck, is “Grimmace” spelled with two “m”s? GREATJUSTGREAT I’ve been spelling it wrong since like 2004. Everything is the worst.

    Also also, was that bossy yellow haired girl Julie? She once put nacho cheese on my magenta fur slippers from Claire’s. I wouldn’t put it past her.

    In closing, I will now refer to you as “Yoo-Hoo.” So glad you’re blogging…YOO HOO. Yay!

    • OMG, Heather! Thanks for catching my HUGE error! Gawd – I’ve learned so much today! I have been spelling it wrong all these years! I think because of the double N in my name, I just thought it natural that Grimace would have 2 Ns, too.

  3. My best nickname ever is “Homie.” It’s so awesome that it has its own nickname: “Homes.”

    A nickname with a nickname? Winner winner chicken dinner.

  4. CLEAVO!!
    A nickname bestowed on me by Glynnis? G, is this why you are so awesome at giving people nicknames…you really just want your own?

    • Yes! You’ve totally outed me. I would always give people nicknames with the hope that they would reciprocate/retaliate. That’s how it started at least! Now I just do it out of love and adoration.

  5. My mother’s (terrible) nickname for me for most of my life was moosh. Not sure why. Eventually, in high school, she switched it to mooch (I think she enjoyed that hard ‘ch’ sound). From there she went on to call me kooch. I kept explaining to her that calling me that calling me a vagina was not a proper mother/daughter nickname, but alas…

  6. The Enforcer.
    Whilst in high school. I was the VP of some group, and i was responsible for organizing 50 lazy bum teenagers to get their stuff together and cooperate with my plans. i don’t know WHERE the enforcing thing could have possibly come from though…. do you????

    • Um, I totally got called “The Regulator” by this severly ADHD kid at my high school. Apparently, my lack of tolerance for his hyperactivity (we all know how I feel about repititive noises…) caused me to “regulate” his behavior. I feel this is much akin to “The Enforcer.” ­čÖé

      • Oh, and then there was Titbags…. thanks Roomie.
        PS- you totally forgot that best nickname of ALL TIME! I am saddened.

  7. I was Kelly for the first few years of my life because my brother found that easier to pronounce than Kevin. There have been a few people over the years that liked to call me Kev. But you, Glynnis, have inspired me to try to get people to start calling me The ‘Baum.

  8. Oh my gawwwd, the blog is alive! I love it!

    My dad called me “Squirt” from time to time when I was growing up, my brother called me “Yo-Yo” until he was 4. In college, the closest thing I got to a nickname that stuck was “Dogues” (“Andogs” was also in the mix at one point, but that’s way less cool than “Dogues”).

  9. Everyone knows that Grimmace was the best part of the McD’s b-day cake. Mmmmm purple frosting… just like you, sweet thing.

  10. Bubbles,

    I feel you. The problem with the name “Lee” is that it’s already so abbreviated, deriving a nickname from it is nigh impossible. I, too, always felt great dissatisfaction with this lack of an epithet that I ended up creating my own nicknames, and signing my emails with them. Most of them haven’t stuck, but I’ll be damned if I stop trying.

    Love,
    Beans

  11. when i was in 5th grade, we were playing softball and my team needed a run. i was on 3rd base and the batter hit the ball and i ran toward home. the boys were all shouting “slide, slide” and in my mind i was thinking “slide? on dirt?” and the catcher was down on the ground ready to tag me out. so i hopped over him and made the homerun – and got my best nickname ever “froggy”!

    love your blog yoo-hoo!

  12. Let’s see – Tubby, my first nickname which described my roundness, Babalouie because I loved him, Cheerful Tearful, Mighty Mouth, Chatty Cathy, Pill, and Cindy Lou Who to name a few. Looking back, my family was cruel!

    Glynnis, love your blog.

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