C is for Cookie Cake

Hey! Remember that time I took an extra long, long weekend for 4th of July and didn’t post anything on my blog for like, a week!? Yeah, that sucked. Sorry, guys. But you know what? It’s not even my fault. I blame the insane amount of sugar coursing through my veins after eating the world’s most awesome, patriotic, cookie cake ever:

Land of the free! Home of the CRAVE...ING FOR COOKIES!

I mean seriously, look at it! There are 50 stars on it! BOOM! Count them! Ok, so maybe the frosting artist got tired when it came time to do the stripes. Or maybe they only knew about 11 of the 13 original colonies. Whatever – they also created this cookie cake and for that, I shall always love and respect them…whoever they are. And you know what the scariest part is? I ALMOST DIDN’T GET TO EAT IT! Because of my own stupidity! I know. It’s almost too horrible to comprehend. Luckily, my gentleman friend saved the day! (He’s so dreamy.)

So this is what happened. We are in the grocery store shopping for Fourth of July and we’re walking through the bakery and BAM! I see The Cookie Cake! It looked like this:

Glynnis: Ohmygodohmygod! LOOK at this COOKIE CAKE!

Gentleman Friend: Yeah, it’s pretty -

Glynnis: (picking up The Cookie Cake and making a peace sign.) Take a picture of me with it!

Gentleman Friend: Why don’t we -

Glynnis: Take the picture! Hurry! It’s heavy because it’s so awesome. You can send pictures straight to my e-mail with your phone, right?

Gentleman Friend: Why don’t we have that for dessert?

Glynnis: (Confused) But I was going to make a cake…

Gentleman Friend: Well, let’s buy the cookie cake.

Glynnis: First of all, please refer to it hereafter as The Cookie Cake because it is worthy of proper noun status. Second of all, cake and The Cookie Cake? Isn’t that a lot?

Gentleman Friend: First of all, you can’t hear if I’m calling it The Cookie Cake or the cookie cake.

Glynnis: I can tell by your tone and body language.

Gentleman Friend: Secondly, we could just buy The Cookie Cake and not have to worry about anything else for dessert.

Glynnis: (Brain implodes because she can have everything she’s ever wanted and not have to spend Saturday baking.)

And that’s why it’s important to find a partner in life who challenges you and opens your mind to things you never thought possible. Because then you can look like this:

Happiness.

*UPDATED* My super, awesome, amazing friend Michelle captured a picture of me moments before I fulfilled my destiny by devouring The Cookie Cake. A picture is worth a thousand words:

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16 thoughts on “C is for Cookie Cake

  1. as i was reading this, i had a flashback to that summer we would go to max and erma’s RIGHT before they closed and DEMAND fresh chocolate chip cookies. mmmmmmmmm…..

  2. That cookie cake was amazing! The layer of frosting was as thick as the cookie! And Glynnis definitely had a very blue tongue for like an hour. Best 4th ever!

  3. LOVE, LOVE, LOVVVVVVVE this post, G. For SO MANY REASONS.
    1) It made me laugh BIG TIME.
    2) The Cookie Cake is a masterpiece (duh.)
    3) It’s inspired me to add “cookie cake” to my list of things to convert to GF and vegan.
    4) Your final message is wayyy important and clearly, the obvious message one should draw from this entire experience.
    5) I just love you. Period.
    K bye.

  4. The Cookie Cake was pure happiness for me, too, and I don’t even LIKE cookie cake. (note lower case denoting cookie cake in general rather than THE Cookie Cake) Also, anything that dyes our mouths unnatural colors is alright in my book. Mmmmm… blue dye # 4…

  5. Reminds me of all of our adventures looking for the (INSERT HOLIDAY HERE) sugar cookies from Stop and Shop that mom would always try and throw out before we’d had our fill. It is CRITICAL!

  6. Before I respond to comments, I think it’s hilarious that there are multiple responses that contain references to other times in my life when I went a little coo coo for cookies. Maybe I have a problem? NOT.

    @Sarah: I also went to Max and Erma’s on my birthday after a few drinks one year…I don’t think I’m very welcome there. But those cookies are so good – I will gladly suffer the ridicule and shaming.

    @Mallory: No mercy.

    @Michelle: Seriously, best fourth ever. Don’t tell The Cookie Cake this, but my favorite moment might have been when you liberally applied your “perfume” all over Quelf.

    @Desi: I love YOU! And if you could come up with a recipe for cookie cake that would not rot my insides, I’d pretty much be your slave forever.

    @VAN: *GASP* I had no idea you normally don’t enjoy the awesomeness that is cookie cake!!! THAT is the power of The Cookie Cake!

    @KOD: So many innocent cookies and important articles in the mail…all lost forever.

  7. You and cookies are a dangerous combo. “RACHEL. SAM, DON’T TELL RACHEL WHERE WE’RE GOING. RAWWWWWWWWWWR.” (That’s Birthday Glynnis/Depths of Hell Voice. Obviously.)

    And also, you’re getting really good at MSPaint versions of your comics! Your doodles look great!

    • Thanks, Rachel! It’s good to hear that. My hunt for a scanner continues…also – I will never forget that birthday. EVER!!! (That supposed to be in the Voice.)

  8. The funniest part of this blog to me is that so many people’s favorite recollections of you involve food.

    Mar and your cereal-eating escapades.
    Sarah and Max & Erma cookies.
    Mallory and y’alls thievery.

    And the Fat Glynnis picture is pretty adorable, too.

  9. Oh, shoot. Didn’t realize you already commented on the hilarity of the foodie-ness in your own comment. My bee, boo.

    • No bee at all, lemimms! I don’t expect anyone to read all the comments on my blog! That’s just crazy! But seriously, you and I need to get together and have an epic food experience so when I blog about it you can be all “Remember that time you ate an ENTIRE watermelon AND the seeds?!”

      Thanks for reading and commenting :).

  10. So I have this awesome picture of you about to cut The Cookie Cake, but I don’t think I can put a picture in my comment. Help!

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